Wal-Man

If you're reading this then, odds are, you've probably shopped at Walmart at least once.  Opinions vary on the mega-chain from brand loyalty for its one-stop shopping to hatred for its competition-crushing ubiquitous nature.  Your mileage may vary depending on how often you need to buy motor oil, pet food and milk at the same time, but there's no denying the company's impact on the country.

The man behind the machine was Sam Walton.  He founded his first store in 1962 and with his great success came the tributes.  If you know where to look you can find Wal-Monuments on your next road trip.

In his hometown of Kingfisher, OK, they wave the Walton flag hard.  This sign announces the town's status as his birthplace as soon as you arrive.  Not too far from there is the town's Walmart (every town's gotta have one, right?).  And there you'll find the real tribute:

Sam's eight foot tall disembodied torso and his faithful dog (and dog food namesake) "Ol' Roy" were erected for the grand opening of the town's store in 2007 and were sculpted by a local artist.  Sam's story may have started here but to see the monuments to his professional accomplishments you need to head one state over.

The founding of Walmart got its own Topp's collectible trading card (above) and the refurbished Walton's Five and Dime (his first store) can be visited on the town square in downtown Bentonville, Arkansas as a part of the Walmart Museum.

The museum is a shrine to the origins of the retail giant and houses store memorabilia like bags, buttons, aprons, early branded merchandise and other pieces of ephemera.  But most of the exhibits are dedicated to the life of Walton and they collect his personal belongings. 

It's an odd memorial for someone who lived so recently.  You might expect too see a life size diorama of an Egyptian tomb or a neanderthal's cave at a natural history museum but this place goes so far as to recreate Walton's office and display it behind glass:

On one hand, I'm glad they resisted the urge to put a mannequin "Sam" in the chair.  But on the other hand, I'm disappointing they didn't go to the expense of building an animatronic "Sam" to push papers around on his desk and occasionally look up to tell his tale to visitors. 

I sometimes wonder what it would look like if my work area was one day put on display for posterity.  Would historians know which order to pile the scraps of paper I no longer need on my desk?  Would they line up my Oscar Mayer Wiener Whistles just right?  I guess history will decide.

The other big piece on display of Sam's is his old 1979 Ford F150:

Apparently he liked to take long drives with the dogs on hunting trips (his Texas hunting license is also on display at the museum) in the truck.  They say that if you look closely at the steering wheel you can see Ol' Roy's teeth marks. 

It's an exhaustive remembrance of a man who made it slightly cheaper and easier for many people to buy tube socks and, like it or not, a big piece of Americana.

Bowl Game

It's no secret that the folks at Cap'n Crunch HQ need very little reason to release a new flavor or a new themed box.  Just about every holiday gets one these days but that doesn't seem to be enough for the ambitious sailors in the Cap'n's fleet.

We're in the home stretch of football season and the Super Bowl is right around the corner so it seems like the best time to take a good look at a box of Cap'n Crunch's Touchdown Crunch!

And there's a lot going on with the box.  The main attraction here isn't seeing the Cap'n in all his quarterback glory.  And it's not seeing the Crunchberries slightly smooshed in order to look like footballs.  No, the real touchdown here is being scored on the back of the box:

We got the band back together!  There's a lot to unpack here.  The long neglected supporting cast of the Cap'n Crunch extended universe has a bit of a grid iron reunion for the Limited Edition box.  This is a great opportunity to enlighten any whippersnappers in your home about the Capn's long list of friends and foes.  Let's see who shows up:

Jean LaFoote

 

The so-called "barefoot pirate" bedeviled the crew of the S.S. Guppy for years in various commercial adventures.  Like so many breakfast antagonists before him, he just wanted to get his hands on a bowl of that sweet breakfast treat.

Crunchberry Beast

The official mascot of Cap'n Crunch Crunch Berries, the Crunchberry Beast was discovered on a remote, exotic island.  Despite the rumors you may have heard, C.B. doesn't poop crunchberries, he eats them.

Magnolia Bulkhead

Another antagonist, this one is as obsessed with Cap'n Crunch the man as she is with Cap'n Crunch the cereal.  I don't think she's ever gotten her hands on either.

Henry S. Hippo

I never tasted "Punch Crunch" but I assume they tasted like...Fruit Punch, I guess.  Doesn't really sound that appealing to me.  I guess that's why it's not around anymore.  Anyway, this guy was the mascot for it.

One of the Soggies

Now these guys were the real deal.  Back in my prime cereal eating days, the Soggies were the ultimate enemies of a cereal that prides itself on its crunchiness.  There were several of them and I think they had names but since I don't remember them, I'll call this guy "the one with the hat."

Crunchling

This little guy was a part of a Cap'n Crunch video game from a few years back.  He may be the most obscure inclusion in this whole block party mess. 

"And the Rest"

So here we have Smedley, the mascot for Peanut Butter Crunch.  I always though he was the most underrated crew member since he's the only other one with a Captain's hat.  Next is Dave, one of the crew members on the Guppy who is clearly a Dallas Cowboys fan.  And lastly is the loyal first mate, Seadog.

All in all, not a bad turnout.  And, yes, I know Carlyle and some rando pirates are also in the stands.  And maybe that dolphin representing the Miami Dolphins had a cameo in one of the commercials too.  It's ok to leave a little on the table...just not in the bowl.

Raisin Funds

Nothing beats eBay for finding product mascot collectibles.  It's definitely possible to get a good deal on an item featuring your favorite character but you're just as likely to find something you're looking for at a price that's just a little out of your reach.  Occasionally you'll find something that you didn't even know was valuable.  Apparently there's a big following for the Sun-Made Raisin Girl:

Like most product mascots, she's gone through some changes over the years.  It's not uncommon for mascots to be updated for the times, even when they're meant to have an "old school" vibe.  You can see some of the subtle changes over there years when you compare the different eras:

To me, it looks like there's been more changes to the font than the design of the Girl, but what do I know?  And speaking of things that escape me, I stumbled across an opportunity for hardcore collectors with a few extra bucks in their pocket to score what must be their "Holy Grail":

If you've got an extra $700,000.00 laying around, you can snag a 2" by 1.25" cardboard box from the 50s.  This eBay auction seems to have gotten some attention since it has 22 watchers and 5 "inquiries."  I don't know what exactly an eBay "inquiry" is but I imagine that if you're going to spend that kind of cash you might want to get some details on the box you're buying. 

And it's good that people are inquiring because the seller has some very specific ideas on who should be bidding.  He even provides a convenient list in the auction description with suggestions for who he has in mind:

Now that's an eclectic group of (hopefully) raisin enthusiasts.  Hopefully one of them will get wind of this auction and make this seller's dream come true.  Happy bidding folks!  Enjoy nature's candy!

World's Greatest Chip Aisle

Well the title says it all doesn't it? I stumbled across what may very well be the world's greatest chip aisle. Not because it is stocked with your salty favorites but because it is comprised of some of the most head-scratching sandwich sides since the first tater slice hit hot oil.


The location? Big Lots.

If you are not familiar with BL, it's a close-out store where unpopular, unsold product lines go to die. I've had some great finds there in the past and it consistently maintains its title as my favorite store/grocery museum. On this particular trip it was the chip aisle that really attracted my attention with its unusually high weirdness quotient.

This little beauty caught my eye first:

 Why?
1. It was close to Halloween (at the time) and these chips have a "monster" theme.
2. They are in ghost shapes that resemble the Pac-Man ghosts
3. They are ketchup flavored

If that's not a triple threat then I don't know what is.

With my interest piqued I started exploring this aisle of misfit chips and came across some interesting finds. I soon noticed that the "geography" theme was prevalent in the chip world:


Representing the U.S. is "Sweet Hawaiian Onion" "Rocky Mountain Dill Pickle" and New York Deli Kettle Cooked" potato chips. Not to be outdone, Europe is also represented in a somewhat confusing way:


Snyder of Berlin's British Style potato chips represent the hodge-podge, mish-mashed understanding that most American high school students have of Europe (quick hint: one of these places loves to talk about World War II and the other one does not).

Now let's move back to the Western Hemisphere and head south of the border:


I got the distinct impression that the Curly bags were not filled with peanuts but rather some weird peanut/chip hybrid with "Mexican Style" being the most popular flavor. They go good with Happy Joe's Taco Chips. A quick google search informed my that "Happy Joe's" is a pizza chain that is famous for putting taco chips on their pizza...taco chips that you can now enjoy at home. But the pizza/chip connection didn't end there:


On the left are Pepperoni Pizza flavored potato chips from Shearer's, the same company that gave us the Hot Dog flavored potato chips that I mentioned awhile back. On the right are...like...pizza flavored sticks...or something...

And speaking of things that I've mentioned before:


Meat flavored chips are always worth repeating. Which brings us to the ultimate chip flavor...one that was a long time coming:


You like chips. You like beer. Obviously you'd like chips made out of beer.

So the next time I tell you I've discovered the World's Greatest [Fill-in-the-Blank] I expect a lot more reverence and a lot less eye-rolling.

Burn Notice

Previously:

Fish Story  - -  Flash Fried  - -  About a Boy

You know not to play with matches, right?  If you do, it's probably, in part, because of Smokey the Bear.  The friendly, fuzzy fire prevention advocate has been watching over the American forests for decades.  But how did it all start for our hairy hero?  Like many great characters, his origin has been told in comic book format:

The setting was Lincoln National Forest in New Mexico in 1950.  For a story like this it's best to have an omniscient narrator...possibly an animal...and the comic delivers in the form of our storytelling hawk (or possibly some other kind of bird):

The comic goes into detail about the efforts of firefighters and soldiers who fought the great blaze of the Capitan Gap Fire which destroyed 17,000 acres of forest.  Once the inferno was under control a lone survivor was found:

Yep, the once and future Smokey survived the fire and was rescued by the friendly fire fighters but he was still burned and need medical help.  And once he was brought to the ranger station he began the healing process.

He was originally named "Hotfoot Teddy" but the U.S. Forest service already had a "Smokey the Bear" awareness campaign and, even back then, synergy was synergy and his name was quickly changed.  Stardom followed soon after...

And the rest...well, you know.  Smokey has appeared in pretty much any medium you can think of and is still going strong today.  As far as mascots go, he's changed very little and his message has remained consistent...

Out of the Loop

Let's face it, we've probably all been eating our Froot Loops pretty much the same way from the get go.  Outside of the "milk and bowl" maneuver, there's the dry method and a handful of custom creations but there's typically nothing new under the sun...until Toucan Sam went to Texas.

The State Fair of Texas is known as the "Deep Fried Food Capital of the World" and every year vendors compete to come up with the most creative deep fried dish to amaze and sustain fair visitors.  Deep Fried Twinkies and Deep Fried Snickers may have started the trend years ago but now they're old news.  This year's top contender was Deep Fried Froot Loops...and I got 'em!

Here's what they look like.  The round loops of fruity goodness not only garnish the tasty treat, they also make up the inner filling.  Inside the crisp shell is a "goo" (for lack of a better term) that has the essence of Froot Loops.  Somehow the cereal was mashed up or liquefied or goo-ified but it definitely tastes like the real deal.

Like many deep fried treats, the creators feel it necessary to dump a ton of powdered sugar on top of it.  And that's not necessarily a bad thing but if I breathe in right before a bite, I tend to get a lung full of sugar...which is an unusual sensation. 

Lastly, there's also a type of icing or topping to round out the experience.  I wasn't sure but I think it was marshmallow flavor.  I'm also not even sure that marshmallow is a flavor...it is, right?  So as far as I'm concerned, we now have a brand new way to enjoy our favorite fruity breakfast treat.  If you try them, tell 'em Sam sent ya.

Rubber Made

You may think of the Michelin Man as the quirky, bloated fellow who serves as a beacon of warmth when you have car trouble and have to go to the auto parts store, but the ribbed gentleman also serves as a reminder of economic prosperity to the people of Ardmore, Oklahoma.  And he's always there to greet you at their Michelin Plant:

The plant has been here for years and if you are like me and constantly on the search for photo ops with life sized advertising mascots then it's definitely worth a stop as you travel along I-35.  This tall drink of water is practically begging you to slap some skin and give him five:

Michelin has been so good for central Oklahoma that our lumpy buddy was even honored by the Oklahoma History Center in Oklahoma City by displaying this smaller version of the legendary icon in one of their exhibits:

So around this area there is clearly some love for when the rubber meets the road.  And if you want to pay a visit to an advertising icon, you know where to go.

Dead Man's Party

Guess who's back?  Yep, it's that time of year again.  The grocery store shelves are turning a specific shade of orange and black and the rubber mask smell wafts throughout the stores a little bit more than you'd like it to.  But the most important indicator of the approach of the Halloween season happens in the cereal aisle:

I've had mixed feelings about the seasonal availability about the General Mills Monster Cereals.  Of course, in the old days they were on sale year round and when they changed to a six week seasonal offering, the initial feelings of shock and betrayal couldn't be denied.

But I think I've come around on the whole situation.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that.  One of the best things about the shorter release is the new box designs we get (almost) every year.  This year in particular has quite the Halloween party on the back:

If you're into advertising mascots like me, this is definitely the party you want to be invited to.  A lot of our cereal pals are in attendance and the costume theme seems to be exclusively "monsters from Monster Cereals."  Here's how it breaks down:

• Dressed as Count Chocula: Boo Berry, the Trix Rabbit and the Cinnamon Toast Crunch "Crazy Squares" (I still haven't warmed up to those guys)
• Dressed as Boo Berry: Lucky the Leprechaun, Frankenberry and Buzz Bee from Honey Nut Cherrios
• Dressed as Frankenberry: Count Chocula, Sonny from Cocoa Puffs and the Pillsbury Doughboy?!?  Wait, he's not from a cereal!

He definitely gets the MVP award for this get-together.  You didn't see any other non-cereal mascots show up to support the monsters but this guy is a total team player.  I want to see more of this in the coming years.  Let's get some crossovers going!

Relativity

Today is National Grandparents Day and it's the perfect excuse to take a look at a long lost advertising mascot.  Everyone knows that Sonny the Cuckoo Bird goes "Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs" but many people have forgotten that he used to be part of a duo.  Originally all the commercials featured him and "Gramps":

Like most great comedy teams, these guys had their signature bits.  The main one was about utilizing Sonny's "cuckoo explosions" to get out of sticky situations.  These days, going cuckoo usually has negative effects on our chocolate craving hero but back in the day it was a great way to escape a bear attack:

Or it was an effective way to avoid a horrible death at sea:

So the guy was clearly nice to have around.  The two made a great team but after awhile the Gramps character was faced out and Sonny became a solo act.  He went on to be the kind of cereal character that is mercilessly taunted by kids at breakfast time.

But a few years ago Gramps made a comeback!  He costarred with his favorite (and possibly only) grandchild in a couple of modern day commercials:

The reunited pair had more of an antagonistic relationship in the new spots with Gramps trying to keep the chocolatey goodness to himself.  But, of course, Sonny gotta get his grub and when he does, Gramps takes it all in stride.   They are, after all, family.  Happy Grandparents Day everybody!

Lime and Punishment

There's a common trope in cereal commercials where a beloved character is desperate to get their hands on the sweet, sweet goodness of their favorite breakfast treat.  And, of course, it almost always ends with the character being denied and some sense of "justice" being served.

The classic example, of course, is the Trix Rabbit.  One elaborate plan after another fails as he dons disguise after disguise in his quest for his fruity prize.  Case in point, an old commercial (from the 70's, maybe?) where he pretends to be a house painter to gain access to the unsupervised children at the breakfast table.  And as expected, his ruse quickly fails:

But something else stuck out to me with this one.  Normally, the kids would have a good laugh at the expense of what is clearly a suffering addict, but this time instead of mild amusement we're met with seething, white hot rage:

These kids just aren't having it.  Now I doubt they'll even be able to enjoy the fruity flavors of their favorite cereal.  They really need to learn to live and let live like all the other kids in all the other commercials.  But they're not going to be content with laughing it off.  They clearly want retribution.