Keeping Kool Part 2

Previously:

Keeping Kool Part 1  - -  Kool and the Gang  - -  Playing it Kool

Awhile back we cracked open the first issue of "The Adventures of Kool-Aid Man" comics and joined Big Red and the gang on a baseball themed adventured that was hot and sweaty until the forces of good (hydration) won the day.  Now it's time to return to the sun drenched pages of the historic first issue to continue the summertime shenanigans.   Things are happening at the amusement park...big things...

No longer content to ruin fun on a small scale, the Thirsties have rolled out their most perilous prize to parch park patrons.  (I don't know why I felt the need to add such unnecessary alliteration.)  I've never seen a Thirstie this big and neither has anyone else.  The amount of trouble it can cause is in direct proportion to its...proportions...and it proceeds to make itself a general pain to just about anyone it can get to.

Well obviously this kind of thing isn't exactly conducive to summertime fun so a hero must rise.  A few panels earlier we were introduced to a group of kids because, whether it's Kool-Aid Man or the Quik Bunny, young bystanders in the way of danger are a definite necessity.  Okay kids, do what you're here to do:

Sure, we all know that Kool-Aid Man likes to smash through walls but usually is seems like he's coming from the outside in.  But in this case he was clearing enjoying himself in the Fun House (50 cents, not a bad price...even in the 80s) when he got the call and wasted no time making his own exit.

He comes in hot and he comes in swinging!  After a minimum amount of turn-of-phrase, the big man makes with the fisticuffs but it doesn't go his way.

Something's clearly going on here since our boy passed right though the giant Thirsties' leg instead of boiling right inside his own pitcher.  Magic?  Madness?  Or perhaps something far more sinister...science?!?  In order to find out, Kool-Aid Man must take to the skies!

In hindsight, I guess it was best that Kool-Aid Man bought that helicopter instead of renting it because he's definitely using it more than we all thought he would. Let that be a lesson to all you product mascots who are hesitating on splurging on that big purchase.  Follow your dreams!

So it turns out what we're dealing with is less of a giant new species of Thirst Monster and more of a trick of the light.  The Thirstie powers-that-be have invested in holographic technology instead of helicopters in the quest to be jerks so it didn't take more than a well placed mirror to make the great beast get placed firmly in the "Where Are They Now?' file.  Problem solved, right?

 Looks like "Big Thirstie" is out for blood.  Cherry flavored blood!  That doesn't bode well for our hero and this story's gang of kids but Kool-Aid Man is too busy being oblivious at the amusement park to know he's being marked for death.

After a a quick intro between Big Red and the kids, the gang stumbles across an absent-minded scientist who is showing off his brand new rocket at the amusement park for no discernible reason.  Since they're all so giddy from dispatching the giant Thirst Beast they were happy to hop in and take the tour.

 I thought it took a lot of restraint on the part of the writer to choose not to do the "lunch/launch" joke here but it came at the expense of Kool-Aid Man's suaveness.  And just like that, this "Monster at the Park" story becomes an outer space adventure, complete with its own Death Star:

Having headquarters shaped as yourself is a classic villain move and the Thirsties lean into it hard.  Piloting the rocket doesn't seem to be an issue thanks to one of the kids who claimed to have watched a lot of scifi movies thus giving her a spaceship-flying skill set.  But hey, you can't argue with results.  

Always ready for a fight, Kool-Aid Man decides to seize the opportunity to slap around the bad guys some more, so he grabs a jet pack (and of course, his pitcher) and zooms out to do what he does.

Oops, he did it again.  You would think that busting through the exterior wall of a spaceship would get everyone sucked out into oblivion but...no.  It doesn't really get addressed here.  This comic already taught you how to get rid of holograms with a mirror, how much more science do you want?

Kool-Aid Man's thirst for vengeance is slaked fairly quickly since the Thirstie's zap-zap-ray-gun that they tried to shoot him with essentially blew up in their faces.  So with that anti-climax, the only things left to do were some light gloating and flying that rocket back home.

  

Wrongs were righted.  Buckles were swashed.  Thirsts were quenched.  It might not have been Kool-Aid Man's first adventure but it was first issue of what eventually ran a half dozen issues or so.  That means something!  To me, at least...oh yeah!

Keeping Kool Part 1

Previously:

Kool and the Gang  - -  Playing it Kool

It's time to once again join the big red boy scout on one (actually, two) of his four-colored adventures to quench thirsts and kick ass.  I've taken a dive into the sweet red waters of Kool-Aid comics before but this one seems to be the first official issue of "The Adventures pf Kool-Aid Man."  And what adventures they are!  Two for the price of none, as this seems to be another promotional freebie.  So let's find a wall and smash though it already!

The first story in our double header starts appropriately enough at a little league baseball game...or at the concession stand to be more precise.  The Thirsties, a group of firey nogoodniks with an urge to get kids parched, commandeer the snack hut and withhold refreshing refreshment from the overheated young players.  There's only one anthropomorphized pitcher that can take care of the situation.

With the fisticuffs done, it was time for Kool-Aod Man to get to know this issue's ragtag group of kids, each one having one (and only one) defining characteristic.  An adventurous bunch, they all pile in to Kool-Aid Man's helicopter (with very little encouragement) and fly off to the Kool-Aid HQ.  Not the most responsible move by the kiddos (or whatever adult was supposed to be supervising) but in the 80s kids just went places with product mascots...it's just what you did back then...

Check this place out.  I wonder who lived here before Kool-Aid Man?  I bet this was a low effort sale for the real estate agent.  If you've ever wondered what KAM's address was, well here it is: Number One Kool-Aid Plaza.  I'm definitely going to file that away for stalking purposes later.

Before anyone could realize how awkward the situation was (a sentient pitcher of sugar water essentially abducting a group of kids), the gang was alerted to some trouble via KAM's trouble alert thingy and off they went to intercede in a volleyball game that was in the process of being ruined by a vicious pack of Thirsties.

I think it's worth noting that Kool-Aid Man picked a spot behind the only sign/structure on the beach specifically so he can burst through it in his trademark style.  So our current "wall destruction" tally is 2.

After making short work of the Thirsties, and not expressing any kind of interest in repairing the property damage he caused, Big Red piled the kids up in his chopper and took them all home.  Which is a good thing since they needed to rest up for their game the next day.

You may not be surprised to learn that, once again, the Thirsties were on the scene stealing bases, overheating hot dogs and just generally being douchey to people who were trying to have a good time.

After one of their shiny shenanigans blinds an umpire and makes him blow a call at home plate, tempers flare and the situation boils over.  So it was time to call in the big gun...

Wall Destruction Tally: 3 and counting. This one gets two pages and I'd like to think it's available as a poster somewhere.  I'd trade in a Kool-Aid point or two to have this work of art framed and hanging over my mantle.

Rampant property destruction notwithstanding, since this is the climax of the story you may be expecting an Avengers-style full on battle scene between Kool-Aid Man, the baseball kids and the Thirsties (with maybe a cameo or two by Great Bluedini or Purplesaurus Rex) but prepare to be disappointed...

...he throws them into a lake.  Also, if there was some foreshadowing earlier in the story about a lake being near the ballpark I must have missed it.  He also doubles down on the "pitcher" pun he seems so fond of.  This is probably his only baseball comic story so I can't blame him for ringing that bell a few times.

With the Thirsties doused, the kids resume the game and imbibe on glass after glass of refreshing Kool-Aid.  Sounds like a fun afternoon to me.  But the fun's not over.  This was just the first of two wet & wacky roller coaster rides in this issue.  Next up?  "There is nothing so cold....as spaaaaacccccccccccee!"

To be continued!

Sugar Rush Hour

It was a simpler time, 2004.  The highways were filled with various vehicles shaped like hot dogs, candy, cats, fish and everything else you could pick up at the grocery store.  A seasonal treat wanted to get in on the fun and thus the Peeps Fun Bus gassed up and hit the road.

Inside (and out) the brand reminds hungry snackers that Peeps aren't just about Easter, they have flavors and designs for just about every holiday you can think of.  You can get your sugar rush all year round.

Visitors to the bus got free treats, played games and learned of the existence of Fourth of July Peeps.  There were also lots of dioramas with various shaped Peeps involved in various activities.

At the time, I was fortunate to line up a video shoot of the bus and an interview with the wacky lady who drove the behemouth.  To my knowledge, the Fun Bus has been in retirement for years, so sit back and check out (what is probably) your only opportunity see the sugar coated, mulit-colored splendor that is the Peeps Fun Bus:

World's Greatest Chip Aisle

Well the title says it all doesn't it? I stumbled across what may very well be the world's greatest chip aisle. Not because it is stocked with your salty favorites but because it is comprised of some of the most head-scratching sandwich sides since the first tater slice hit hot oil.


The location? Big Lots.

If you are not familiar with BL, it's a close-out store where unpopular, unsold product lines go to die. I've had some great finds there in the past and it consistently maintains its title as my favorite store/grocery museum. On this particular trip it was the chip aisle that really attracted my attention with its unusually high weirdness quotient.

This little beauty caught my eye first:

 Why?
1. It was close to Halloween (at the time) and these chips have a "monster" theme.
2. They are in ghost shapes that resemble the Pac-Man ghosts
3. They are ketchup flavored

If that's not a triple threat then I don't know what is.

With my interest piqued I started exploring this aisle of misfit chips and came across some interesting finds. I soon noticed that the "geography" theme was prevalent in the chip world:


Representing the U.S. is "Sweet Hawaiian Onion" "Rocky Mountain Dill Pickle" and New York Deli Kettle Cooked" potato chips. Not to be outdone, Europe is also represented in a somewhat confusing way:


Snyder of Berlin's British Style potato chips represent the hodge-podge, mish-mashed understanding that most American high school students have of Europe (quick hint: one of these places loves to talk about World War II and the other one does not).

Now let's move back to the Western Hemisphere and head south of the border:


I got the distinct impression that the Curly bags were not filled with peanuts but rather some weird peanut/chip hybrid with "Mexican Style" being the most popular flavor. They go good with Happy Joe's Taco Chips. A quick google search informed my that "Happy Joe's" is a pizza chain that is famous for putting taco chips on their pizza...taco chips that you can now enjoy at home. But the pizza/chip connection didn't end there:


On the left are Pepperoni Pizza flavored potato chips from Shearer's, the same company that gave us the Hot Dog flavored potato chips that I mentioned awhile back. On the right are...like...pizza flavored sticks...or something...

And speaking of things that I've mentioned before:


Meat flavored chips are always worth repeating. Which brings us to the ultimate chip flavor...one that was a long time coming:


You like chips. You like beer. Obviously you'd like chips made out of beer.

So the next time I tell you I've discovered the World's Greatest [Fill-in-the-Blank] I expect a lot more reverence and a lot less eye-rolling.