For King and Crunchie

Previously:

Bowl Game  - -  Big Time

In the 60s, the "Space Race" was in full swing, ushering the United States and the Soviet Union into an era of innovation and discovery.  While the nations' eyes were on the skies, space was not necessarily the final frontier as terrestrial adventurers were still making discoveries of their own.  Two years before the crew of the Apollo 11 touched down on the moon, the crew of the S.S. Guppy made landfall on Crunch Berry Island.

 And it didn't take the gallant Cap'n and crew long to discover the island's most delicious natural resource.  It was young Brunhilde who first found the exotic yet delicious looking vegetation.  And just as quickly as she found the Crunch Berries, she started consuming them.  Bold?  Yes.  Irresponsible?  Definitely.  But fortunate favors the irresponsible.

A couple of interesting things of note are mentioned in this commercial.  First, apparently Crunch Berries are automatically crunchy right off the bush.  That would be a red flag for me but it doesn't slow the Cap'n down at all.  They also "Taste like strawberries" according to crewman Dave.  At least that's what I think he says.  He has a weird way of pronouncing "strawberries" though so there's still some nagging doubt in the back of my mind.  He says it twice in one commercial which is odd as I don't remember Crunch Berries ever being described as tasting like anything other than "Crunch Berries."

Also, the Cap'n mentions being eager to "tell the folks at Quaker" of his newfound snack.  This seems to clarify that the Cap'n and his crew are not attached to a specific Navy but instead are having their voyages financed by Quaker Cereals with the goal of finding delicious new breakfast flavors.  But that's not the only things they found.

 Behold the Crunchberry Beast!  Though it's not explicitly stated in his commercial debut that the creature hails from Crunchberry island, it is pointed out that his diet consists of nothing but Crunch Berries so I think we can put two and two together here.  While CB seems like the kind that would chafe at the domesticated life, as long as he's provided with a steady stream of his favorite food he maintains his position as a loyal part of the Cap'n's crew.

All this useless information serves as an in-canon origin for the sweet breakfast treat and one of the more successful of the Cap'n's mission as he was able to supply his patrons with a new breakfast flavor and provide himself with a new monster/crewman for future missions.  As usual, the Cap'n makes it happ'n. 

Let's Go Shopping With Punky Brewster

 Also you probably recall, "Punky Brewster" was a classic 80s sitcom about a spunky young orphan girl who gets adopted by the Commandant from Police Academy and together they get into primarily low-stakes hijinks. 

For example, how about a simple shopping trip for groceries?  Low stakes, yet ample opportunity Punky to get up to shenanigans.  But what's most interesting for me is to check out the retro 1984 foodstuffs.  Like most TV shows they needed to hide specific logos and brands but it's always fun to try to ID some of your favorites.  

In order to hide logos, it looks like the production team mainly just turned items backwards and upside down.  In the circled box behind Punky you can see a cereal box with a free coupon for a Dairy Queen sundae.  This was a promotion by Kellogg's around this time.  But take a look at the box next to it.  Recognize it?

What we have here is a box of Star Wars C-3POs cereal with a special offer on the back for "Sticker Trading Cards."  A quick Google search tells me that most of the time, the back of C-3POs had a cut-out mask of one of the characters but I guess at some point Star Wars fans demanded more and they got it.

Cap'n Crunch was on fire at this time, so much so that he could just give away fistfuls of cash.  Not enough to get Punky's attention though as she passes right by the "Win $1,000 Cash" promotion on this box.  Not sure what variation of Cap'n Crunch it was but I'm pretty sure it would have stopped the 1984 version of me dead in my tracks if I had been there.

And finally we get a look at some classic, square yellow Oscar Mayer lunch meat packaging.  They've changed their look over time and you can still find some similar packages in stores today but there's no yellow like "80s yellow."

There also may or may not have been some Ecto Cooler in the background at one point but this was well before 4K video so we may never know for sure.  Mysteries of the grocery aisle abound so it's important to stay vigil.

Big Time

 They say everything is bigger in Texas but do "they" mean cereal too?  "Bigger" can be relative, especially in the cereal aisle where birds, rabbits, cavemen and leprechauns all compete for your attention and a place in your shopping cart.  In order to stand out from the crowd you need to do something big.

 And then along comes our old friend Cap'n Crunch with something we didn't even know we wanted: "Cap'n Crunch's Texas Sized Crunch Berries."  It's been way too long since we've had a Texas themed cereal and I was surprised at what a welcome site this was.  The "Limited Edition" breakfast treat boasts Crunch Berries that are three times bigger and has the Cap'n decked out in his Texas dude duds.

Depending on your familiarity with Crunch Berries, these may or may not seem "Texas Sized" to you.  I have to admit I was a little unimpressed at first glance.  I guess it's been awhile since I've had a bowl of the Cap'n's delight since they didn't seem all that big to me.  I assume that regular crunch berries are three times smaller but I honestly didn't want to expend the extra effort or cash to buy a regular box for comparison.  That would be a lot of cereal to get rid of.

So in order to give you a better idea of their size, I've included some State Fair of Texas tickets for perspective.  You can also see here how much bigger the berries are than the regular Cap'n Crunch pieces (do they have a name?).  This also got me in the mood for the inevitable "Deep Fried Cap'n Crunch" which must be coming to the State Fair at some point, if it hasn't already (like the Deep Fried Froot Loops I tried awhile back).

While you chew on that, let's head to the back of the box.  Sure, the "Texas sized" Crunch Berries might have been a disappointment but the Cap'n makes up for it with some Texas themed activities for your morning meal entertainment.  Apparently the "Tex-A-Tron XL" is the machine that makes the bigger Crunch Berries?  Regardless, it's up to you to unscramble the names of famous Texas locations in order to fix it.

If Crunch Berries aren't big enough for you then there are plenty of things in Texas that are.  Before you drink the milk, take some time to find your favorite Texas "big things" in the Cap'n's word search.  Not a bad way to start the morning.

Is Texas the only state in the country to have their own cereal?  Probably not.  I assume there's some kind of "California Something Or Other Granola" out there somewhere but I'll take the Cap'n over that any day of the week.

Munch Madness 2020

Previously:

Munch Madness 2019  - -  Munch Madness 2018

It'ss that time of year again!  Let the madness commence!  This time it's not just the sweet treats of Little Debbie competing.  We've got some new competitors.  But let's get the main event out of the way:

Congrats to Nutty Buddies, your 2020 Little Debbie Champion!  But they're not alone when it comes to this year's victory.  A&W Restaurants are also joining the fray. 

Full disclosure: I've only eaten there a handful of times.  I usually stop in to satisfy a chili dog craving but I think I've sampled enough of their menu to work my way through the brackets.  Let's see how it turned out:

No surprise here.  Their signature root beer makes a great root beer float and that's our winner.  I'll need to stop by soon to get myself a celebratory dessert.

And finally, the Popicon Blog is ranking the best product mascots of all time.  This one was right up my alley so I had to give it a try.  But there were some tough choices to be made.  I'm still not 100% sure about every win/loss but it is what it is:

Congrats to the one and only Cap'n Crunch for pulling out a victory against some fierce competition.  So what do you think?  Agree?  Disagree?  Feel like arguing any of my picks?  Well, let me have it! 

Breakfast Feud

The best feuds usually have a few things in common: they are longstanding & involve two evenly matched powerhouses.  This is not that kind of feud.  This is completely one-sided and happened relatively quickly between a popular cereal mascot and an unpopular one.  And even the winner ended up losing...

If you're wasting your time reading a blog about product mascots then you've probably heard of Quisp.  He's the wacky alien mascot who always speaks in his "outside voice" about the cereal with which he shares his name.  Total solo act, right?  Sure, he has that vibe but he was originally a part of a duo.

This commercial was the debut for both Quisp (little alien guy) and Quake (big miner guy).  They were both supposed to be representative of various frontiers.  Quisp cashed in on the excitement of the growing space exploration program since his domain was outer space.  As for Quake, his stomping ground was "inner space."  So he essentially liked to dig in the ground.  Clearly he was at a disadvantage from the beginning.

Before you start questioning the legitimacy of this feud, take another look at the .gif above.  Quisp pulls a gun on Quake!  In their first appearance!  The little announcer guy throws fuel on the fire by immediately instructing kids to pick their favorite (and essentially vote with their wallets...or their parents' wallets).

And just like that, the feud began.  So to celebrate this rivalry, here are some arbitrary facts about the unlikely pair.

They Both Got Merch

Fifty cents and two box tops would have gotten you one of these sweet Quisp or Quake plush dolls that you could eat breakfast with.  Of course, again, you'd have to choose.  I mean, I suppose you could get both but that would take an entire dollar and four box tops and an amount of parental patience and interest that probably wasn't too likely back in those days. 

If you do a search on eBay today of both "Quisp" and "Quake" you'll find that Quisp easily has more merchandise.  Consider it the spoils of war awarded to the feud winner.

Quake Got a Makeover

Miners have yet to really get their due when it comes to showbiz popularity.  And since cowboys were really popular back in the day, the powers-that-be decided it was time for a change.  Perhaps demonstrating a lack of faith in the character, Quake was switched from an "inner space" guy to a "cowboy" guy.  The ad boys leaned into it and produced a commercial showing Quake hopping into a makeover machine and coming out a lean, mean cowpoke desperate to sell cereal.

The Duo Was a Trio Briefly

In that age of prosperity, cereal was selling and "more" was "better" so Quaker decided to roll out a third cereal...perhaps an eventual replacement for Quake?  So Simon the Quangeroo was born and his orange flavored cereal hit the shelves. 

Perhaps indicative of some elitism on Quisp's part, Simon was mainly paired with Quake.  There was one commercial where Simon and Quisp competed with each other in a race across the country but, alas, the fix was in and Quisp took the win.  The loss shook Simon and he inevitably disappeared joining Fruit Brute & Yummy Mummy in fruit flavored obscurity.  

The Gang Existed in the Cap'n Crunch Extended Universe

These days we're used to shared universes, with every Avenger happy to pop up in each other's movies and whatnot. But before our favorite heroes took on Thanos and even before Laverne & Shirley teamed up with Fonzie, an even more epic cross-over took place on the small screen.  

Since all parties involved were owned by Quaker, it wasn't a big deal to get them together for a special occasion.  This occasion was the giveaway of Matchbox Cars and you can even see the animosity between the boys in the .gif above as the poor Cap'n is caught in the middle.

Well, a rivalry like this couldn't last...and it didn't.  Eventually Quake went away, perhaps buried in his beloved inner space, for good.  Quisp continued his reign for several years...until he didn't.  His cereal eventually went away, for the most part, but he's had a resurgence or two over the years.  

You can still find it on the shelves of certain stores if you're lucky.  But if you decide to pick up box, spare a thought for an old friend...a long lost miner/cowboy who never stood a chance in the cutthroat world of breakfast cereals.

Bowl Game

It's no secret that the folks at Cap'n Crunch HQ need very little reason to release a new flavor or a new themed box.  Just about every holiday gets one these days but that doesn't seem to be enough for the ambitious sailors in the Cap'n's fleet.

We're in the home stretch of football season and the Super Bowl is right around the corner so it seems like the best time to take a good look at a box of Cap'n Crunch's Touchdown Crunch!

And there's a lot going on with the box.  The main attraction here isn't seeing the Cap'n in all his quarterback glory.  And it's not seeing the Crunchberries slightly smooshed in order to look like footballs.  No, the real touchdown here is being scored on the back of the box:

We got the band back together!  There's a lot to unpack here.  The long neglected supporting cast of the Cap'n Crunch extended universe has a bit of a grid iron reunion for the Limited Edition box.  This is a great opportunity to enlighten any whippersnappers in your home about the Capn's long list of friends and foes.  Let's see who shows up:

Jean LaFoote

 

The so-called "barefoot pirate" bedeviled the crew of the S.S. Guppy for years in various commercial adventures.  Like so many breakfast antagonists before him, he just wanted to get his hands on a bowl of that sweet breakfast treat.

Crunchberry Beast

The official mascot of Cap'n Crunch Crunch Berries, the Crunchberry Beast was discovered on a remote, exotic island.  Despite the rumors you may have heard, C.B. doesn't poop crunchberries, he eats them.

Magnolia Bulkhead

Another antagonist, this one is as obsessed with Cap'n Crunch the man as she is with Cap'n Crunch the cereal.  I don't think she's ever gotten her hands on either.

Henry S. Hippo

I never tasted "Punch Crunch" but I assume they tasted like...Fruit Punch, I guess.  Doesn't really sound that appealing to me.  I guess that's why it's not around anymore.  Anyway, this guy was the mascot for it.

One of the Soggies

Now these guys were the real deal.  Back in my prime cereal eating days, the Soggies were the ultimate enemies of a cereal that prides itself on its crunchiness.  There were several of them and I think they had names but since I don't remember them, I'll call this guy "the one with the hat."

Crunchling

This little guy was a part of a Cap'n Crunch video game from a few years back.  He may be the most obscure inclusion in this whole block party mess. 

"And the Rest"

So here we have Smedley, the mascot for Peanut Butter Crunch.  I always though he was the most underrated crew member since he's the only other one with a Captain's hat.  Next is Dave, one of the crew members on the Guppy who is clearly a Dallas Cowboys fan.  And lastly is the loyal first mate, Seadog.

All in all, not a bad turnout.  And, yes, I know Carlyle and some rando pirates are also in the stands.  And maybe that dolphin representing the Miami Dolphins had a cameo in one of the commercials too.  It's ok to leave a little on the table...just not in the bowl.