Salt Seeing

The Morton Salt Girl has never been one of the more flashy product mascots but she's a bit of a workhorse.  She's been holding her umbrella and spilling her salt for over a century.  Sure, she may be frequently overlooked by flashier guys like Mr. Peanut or the Green Giant but I found a palace where she reigns as queen.

The Grand Salt Palace is just that...a building dedicated to, and made of, salt!  Found in Grand Saline, TX, the museum and visitors center celebrates America's favorite spice.  That's because there's a huge salt deposit in the area and Morton mines it for potato chip lovers everywhere.  It's what you call a "Salt Town."  (I don't know if anybody calls it that but I do.)

So proud of their natural resource, the town built its Welcome Center out of it.   You can build buildings out of rock, and salt is a rock so naturally synergy won the day.  Visitors are even encouraged to taste the salty structure...so we did...

Guess what it tastes like?  If you guessed salt, you're right!  I can't make any claims about how hygienic it is but pretty much every visitor seems to give it a lick.  My advice to new visitors is to try and find an unappealing corner somewhere that has had a minimum of licking.  Good luck!

Inside you'll find the type of pamphlets and local history displays that populate many small town museums.  What makes this one stand out is the free rock salt samples (Spoiler: they taste like salt) and, of course, Morton Salt Girl Memorabilia in its various forms.

As usual, there's a surprising amount of stuff with this particular mascot on it but, to paraphrase Dr. Ian Malcolm, Marketing...finds a way... 

Also on site is the standard little old lady to answer all your salt and salt related questions, an educational video about salt playing on a loop and the obligatory penny smashing machine.  I would definitely recommend a stop at this place if it's only a few hours off your pre-planned route.  But I'm into weird stuff like this.

Now I need to find some water.  I'm feeling thirsty.  But before I go, see if you can spot the old gal among her fellow icons in this commercial:

World's Greatest Chip Aisle

Well the title says it all doesn't it? I stumbled across what may very well be the world's greatest chip aisle. Not because it is stocked with your salty favorites but because it is comprised of some of the most head-scratching sandwich sides since the first tater slice hit hot oil.


The location? Big Lots.

If you are not familiar with BL, it's a close-out store where unpopular, unsold product lines go to die. I've had some great finds there in the past and it consistently maintains its title as my favorite store/grocery museum. On this particular trip it was the chip aisle that really attracted my attention with its unusually high weirdness quotient.

This little beauty caught my eye first:

 Why?
1. It was close to Halloween (at the time) and these chips have a "monster" theme.
2. They are in ghost shapes that resemble the Pac-Man ghosts
3. They are ketchup flavored

If that's not a triple threat then I don't know what is.

With my interest piqued I started exploring this aisle of misfit chips and came across some interesting finds. I soon noticed that the "geography" theme was prevalent in the chip world:


Representing the U.S. is "Sweet Hawaiian Onion" "Rocky Mountain Dill Pickle" and New York Deli Kettle Cooked" potato chips. Not to be outdone, Europe is also represented in a somewhat confusing way:


Snyder of Berlin's British Style potato chips represent the hodge-podge, mish-mashed understanding that most American high school students have of Europe (quick hint: one of these places loves to talk about World War II and the other one does not).

Now let's move back to the Western Hemisphere and head south of the border:


I got the distinct impression that the Curly bags were not filled with peanuts but rather some weird peanut/chip hybrid with "Mexican Style" being the most popular flavor. They go good with Happy Joe's Taco Chips. A quick google search informed my that "Happy Joe's" is a pizza chain that is famous for putting taco chips on their pizza...taco chips that you can now enjoy at home. But the pizza/chip connection didn't end there:


On the left are Pepperoni Pizza flavored potato chips from Shearer's, the same company that gave us the Hot Dog flavored potato chips that I mentioned awhile back. On the right are...like...pizza flavored sticks...or something...

And speaking of things that I've mentioned before:


Meat flavored chips are always worth repeating. Which brings us to the ultimate chip flavor...one that was a long time coming:


You like chips. You like beer. Obviously you'd like chips made out of beer.

So the next time I tell you I've discovered the World's Greatest [Fill-in-the-Blank] I expect a lot more reverence and a lot less eye-rolling.