Kool and the Gang

Previously:

Fish Story  - -  Flash Fried  - -  About a Boy  - -  Burn Notice   - -  Quik Story

Oh yeah!  As we've seen, back in the glory days, it was all too common for commercial mascots to have their own comic books.  Usually free, always promotional, they served to remind youngsters of the coolness factor that was hopefully associated with brand name items.

It was natural fit when Kool-Aid Man starred in his own series.  A guy who was primarily known for throwing himself threw brick walls surely had an adventure or two up his sleeve.  Kool-Aid Man doesn't have sleeves you say?  Well, normally I'd agree with you.

We begin in the Flavor Lab at the Wacky Warehouse as Kool-Aid Man is on the cusp of a new fruity sensation.  Everything's coming up Kool-Aid and things couldn't be better. But before the gang could come up with a name for the new flavor tragedy strikes.

The villainously dehydrating Scorch nabs the secret formula and the chase begins!  What follows is a multi-page chase (and this whole comic doesn't have that many pages to begin with) sequence as Kool-Aid Man and the kids give the reader an impromptu tour of the Warehouse while they chase down the fiery fiend.

As often happens, a magic doorway materializes.  And with the good guys closing in, Scorch had no choice but to escape through the passageway containing the face of his greatest foe into the unknown.  But the question isn't where does the door lead...but when? 

Yep, they went back in time.  These aren't "grown in a lab for a theme park" dinosaurs.  These are the honest to goodness real deals.  Scorch, with his head start, is easily able to lose the gang in the jungle while not accidentally burning the entire place to cinders and thus destroying the space/time continuum...so that's good news.

Meanwhile Kool-Aid Man (who has traded his lab coat for a pith helmet) and the kids make a new friend.  PurpleSaurus Rex makes his grand debut as a friend in need.  The old boy (girl?) is stuck in the mud and the good guys are happy to help him out.

Sure they lost the bad guy but they made a new friend.  And P-Rex is such a total bro that he's happy to help track down Scorch and enact retribution on the villain.  And with the help of the big guy it doesn't take the gang long to find their prey.

Apparently when you're a great big giant dinosaur it's not too hard to get what you want.  You just have to threaten to eat people.  Well, the bluff paid off and K-Man got back his formula for the unnamed new flavor.  Time to head home and dole out an appropriate punishment to the recipe-stealing nogoodnik.

  
Looks like he'll be chilling out in the Ice Age for an indeterminate amount of time.  (By the way, the time portal door seems to lead to series of tubes in which one can slide from time period to time period.  They also include clearly labeled trap doors controlled by the malevolent god that is Kool-Aid Man).  So the only item of business left on the table is to name the new flavor.

And that my friends is the secret origin story of PurpleSaurus Rex.  He went on to promote the grape/lemonade hybrid and some say he still haunts these mountains to this day...

Charm in Excess

Previously: Roll Call

There's an inherent fear that many of us have that one day, after "getting some thinking done," we'll reach for the toilet paper and and there won't be enough!  Not nearly enough!!  When thoughts like that creep into your head, here's a mental picture (and literal picture) to keep in mind:

What we have here is the World's Largest Roll of Toilet Paper.  It's on display at the Ripley's Believe it or Not museum in Branson, MO and seems to be sponsored by Charmin.  Revel in its 4,000 pound plentitude!

Charmin went all out on the display including huge iPod-esque interactive touch screens with tons of toilet paper related related trivia, quizzes and Ripley's comics.  Not all, but many of your toilet paper related information cravings can be satisfied by wiping swiping through the screens.

Here you can vote on whether you're the kind of person that prefers the toilet paper to hang over the roll or if you're a horrible, horrible person.

The display as includes several entries in the Cheap Chic Toilet Paper Wedding Dress contest from who-knows-when.  The dresses look as good as any other wedding attire I've seen on blushing brides from the past few weddings I attended at a fraction of the cost. 

Of course, like any other Ripley's museum, there are tons of other oddities and curiosities from around the world, but none quite so functional in that special time of need as a good old huge roll of TP.